When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
