You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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