I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
