But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
