we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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