You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
