Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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