when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
