Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
