the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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