I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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