why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
