i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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