i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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