help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
