if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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