I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
