idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
