Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
