Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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