note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
