Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
