I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
