proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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