This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
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Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
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Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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