i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize