I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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