Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
