He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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