You just made me feel so damn special
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
