I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
And then he peed in my hair
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