I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
