There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
