Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
