Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
