My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
