their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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