At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
