Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
