just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
