mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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