haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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