That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
