peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
