He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This is the high leading the old right now
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
