does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
