Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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