glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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