have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
