this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
