is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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