I CAN MOONWALK!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
