and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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