he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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