My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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