but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
