you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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