I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
