His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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