I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Drunk is a universal language darling
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